All This Talk About Hair

If you have been around over the last year you most likely would have stumbled on the relaxed hair vs natural hair debate. And if you are like me you would wonder why it is such a big deal. The main reason women give for going natural is that they want to go back to their roots and appreciate their natural hair texture and the beauty in it. To me, there is nothing wrong with letting go of  relaxers (or creamy crack as natural hair enthusiasts call it) and deciding you want to rock an afro.

I recently cut my hair off, and became a naturalista (yes, another one bites the dust). I cut off my hair because I went through a phase where I was doing different things to my hair and it just didn't look right any more. The decision to cut my hair had nothing to do with embracing my natural kinky hair or wanting to radiate my God-given beauty. It was far from that. I needed hair that I could just wake up and go with and not have to worry about, hence my short hair. I have no intention of growing my hair out any time soon and therefore may not be classified as a bonafide member of the natural hair gang.

The natural hair community has grown so much that you cant go on social media and not see something about hair. It has resulted in the rise of so many blogs and social media accounts. Events are even being held to celebrate/promote natural hair. It has now become the "in" thing.

I have noticed that women with natural hair talk about their hair a lot. It's is their main topic of discussion. I am tired of opening my instagram and seeing a girl posting about washing her hair or oiling her "fro". We all wash our hair, natural or otherwise, this is not news, this is not something worth sharing. If it is then why didn't you share it when you were washing your relaxed hair? It has become such a big deal now to have natural hair that people with relaxed hair are sometimes crucified.

 I come from a society that does not really encourage kinky hair and natural textures because it is seen as untidy. Women are therefore encouraged to relax their hair, use hair extensions or put them in braids. There has however been an increase in the amount of women who have transitioned to natural hair. These women face challenges everyday from people asking why their hair is that way, why they wont relax it, telling them it is untidy or asking why their hair is not made.

A woman should not be judged by her hair or what she chooses to do or not do to it. Your hair is a part of your image, some people say a person hair is a means of expression and other use the phrase "I am not my hair". Whatever a persons take on hair is, it is solely their decision what they choose to do to it. No one has the right to crucify another for relaxing their hair or not relaxing their hair. Hair is a matter of personal choice and naturalistas should stop trying to turn everyone natural. As with everything in life, natural hair is not for everybody.

To spice up this post a bit, I have included pictures of the differents ways I have worn my hair over the last year.

Relaxed hair in a pixie cut 

Girls love their weaves

     My side shave

My hair now

Why I Stopped Blogging/Writing

I have been off the blogging horizon for quite some time now and this has been as a result of many things. When you start a blog, you do a lot of research on the internet on how to be a successful blogger. You find things like:

• You have to be consistent 
• Find your niche/target audience
• Build a following 
• Create a brand

The list seems to be endless on these sites. After reading all this I feel very demoralized because the only successful bloggers I see are fashion, beauty and lifestyle bloggers. They seems to be the only ones who have all the things listed above. So when I write I think to myself who will read this? Is anyone even interested in what I'm saying? My writing is not perfect so why should people read it. I am in constant fear of what the response to what my work will be. I am also in constant fear that my writing is not good enough to build an actual niche.

I still have these fears but I am finding ways to silence them. I am constantly trying to make my work better, finding interesting things to write about. I have however come to the realization that I am not in blogging for the money or the fame, I just blog because I like to write and I guess it's time people read what I write.

Shindara Salako 

Culture Shock; A Nigerian Abroad

I recently moved to England to go to university so I am now a member of the Nigerians abroad society. I call it a society because of the vast number of Nigerians abroad. As with anyone else, we face certain challenges when we get to this new country and I am going to highlight a few of them that I have experienced myself. I will be basing all this on England but I am certain Nigerian migrants in other countries will understand them.

• Money.

The utter shock you get when you enter a shop with your new fifty pound note and your money has to go through all types of inspection before you are rendered the services you wanted. During this time, you may be confident of the new crisp pounds your local aboki/mallam sold to you or you might be a little worried because you patronized another aboki and not your regular customer. Secondly, the constant need to convert money to your currency of choice; Naira. In the process of conversion you may refrain from buying a lot of things. I walked into a sainsbury shop and picked up a 50cl plastic bottle of coke only to realize it was £1.20. Of course the hidden mathematician in me came out and I converted it to Naira and figured it was almost 350 naira. As you would expect I dropped it back because in Nigeria it's only 100 naira.

• Language

People have different problems with language. The most common on is that the people of the country you are in do not understand your beautiful Nigerian accent. The number of times I have been stopped mid-conversation to be asked if I was still speaking English is absurd. This happens when I'm speaking to a fellow Nigerian really fast. The struggle to communicate to the natives of the country goes either way; they don't understand your accent or you don't understand theirs. This is where Nigerians try to put up this funny British accent and end up sounding ridiculous. I must say I have had to do so a couple of times. Contrary to popular belief, British people are not very good with English and their slang's and sentence construction may be hard for a Nigerian who was taught the "Queen's English" to understand. It took me a while to know that when a person asked "Where abouts do you stay?" he in fact meant where do you live.

• Weather

WINTER!!!! The biggest problem Nigerians have is the cold. Coming from a nation with a tropical climate to that with the four seasons takes a lot of adjustment. You can easily spot a Nigerian new to these harsh conditions as he has on so many layers and waddles up and down stuffed. I have fallen prey to this because I remember wearing two pairs of tights and about three layers of clothing before I put on my coat. Nna, my brother that cold is not easy. Ko easy.

• Dressing

Most Nigerians are conservative people and are often dumbfounded by the way some people dress. You know when you watched Osofia in London and the scene where he goes to put his coat over a girls legs, many people may have caught themselves in similar situations. The worst part is usually when you see an obese person in indecent clothing. Living abroad, England to be exact, you don't only see indecent things. No, you see all sorts, people dressed like vampires when it's not even Halloween, old mamas and papas in lingerie and boxers on the street. As a Nigerian I think, 'have you no shame'. But the British call it personal expression.

• PDA (Public Display of Affection)

In Nigeria public display of affection is frowned upon. You dare not kiss your boyfriend in the cinema or at the mall. Even a hug can sometimes be considered to much (e.g in church). But you arrive in England and it is everywhere. From kissing, to squeezing the bum and some other obscene things I can't write. I was on the bus the other day and this couple kept kissing each other and looking at each other like they wanted to cry. I was utterly irritated. Couldn't they have waited till they got home?

•  Speak Nigerian.

Being asked to speak Nigerian and having to explain that there is nothing like Nigerian. Also being asked why you and your Nigerian colleague do not speak the same language. At this point you would have to the explain the vast number of languages in Nigeria and the fact that you come from different parts of the country. Also the struggle for white people to understand that pidgin English is in fact derived from proper English. The scenarios on speaking Nigerian are endless.

So I have listed 6 things that Nigerians face when they get abroad. Many of these should be common where ever you may be. If you're a Nigerian abroad, have you faced these problems too?

Shindara Salako